Raging Against the World
Just another WordPress.com weblog
Follow Your Bliss
I’ve always equated Twitter to a conversation in the pub. You can’t control who talks to you. You may suddenly whip round and talk to someone you’ve just been introduced to. If someone bores you you’ll head to the bar as a quick excuse for a getaway. You’ll go and play on a trivia machine with a couple of acquaintances rather than join in a dull conversation about motorway junctions or mortgages. If someone isn’t doing it for you, you turn away. If that girl you’ve had your eye on is giving one-word replies you give up and don’t talk to her again.
On Twitter you’ll find people with only one particular interest. We’ve all met people on there who only want to talk about politics, or only want to talk about Doctor Who. You can try to talk to them about cooking or technology or anything and you’ll get little or no response. And like the Pub there’s always someone who wants to trump everything you say. You’ve travelled around France? They’ve worked in hospitals across Zaire. You’ve started to learn the bass guitar, they’ve been drunk with Oasis. In Zaire.
So you can follow or unfollow anyone you feel like. Twitter is a place of freedom. (Unless you’re a celebrity facing the unspoken blackmail of the ‘retweet my charity’ people.)
Some people react to this better than others. They’ll directly confront you with “Why have you unfollowed me? Was it something I said?”. Some will get this niggle and loudly broadcast “@joebloggs has unfollowed me. What a git he is“.
This make you feel guilty and awkward. But you shouldn’t. You wouldn’t stop someone on the way to the bar with “why aren’t you staying here to talk to me?“
Some will even say “I love reading you, but now you’ve unfollowed me I’m unfollowing you.”
Why does it have to be reciprocal? Do you have to have a 1:1 follower ratio? No-one is 1:1. For the record, I don’t follow back just anyone; they have to have an interesting timeline before a new follower is followed back. I don’t agree with “Team Followback”. I follow people who don’t follow me and I don’t throw a hissy fit about it.
If you feel strongly enough that someone is giving you a hard time you can block them. This really I hold as a last-ditch option, I rarely block people. Anyone can listen to my words unless they turn a bit mental. Everyone’s entitled to a hassle-free Twitter experience. I still recall one very classy actress who was chased off of Twitter by a voracious anti-fan who was deluging her with nasty unfounded claims about her sex life.
If I unfollow you, you shouldn’t take it as a sleight. Maybe we’re interested in different things. Maybe you’re too crude for me. I’m no prude but I don’t want to hear about your infant’s bowel movements every morning as I’m eating my breakfast. (I can’t even understand why you think anyone would be interested in that!) Maybe I don’t want to read about you “wetting yourself” as I’m drinking my apple juice. Maybe I talk to you but you give short replies. Maybe you never talk to me unless I talk to you first. I notice these things.
If you can’t take being unfollowed, don’t sign up to a service telling you of your Unfollowers. Especially, don’t message someone who unfollowed you less than ten minutes ago.
If I unfollow you, it doesn’t mean I hate you, we’re just not connecting. I shouldn’t have to answer for my choice, just as I wouldn’t confront you if you unfollowed me.
this is clearly a response to me – perhaps among others, but almost certainly my recent comment to you was a trigger. i was genuinely surprised that you suddenly unfollowed me, as we have had occasional exchanges, and you have seemed very keen on continuing offline conversations. i can only assume you are smarting from my what you perceive as a lack of reciprocal interest. i enquired because i was worried i had offended you somehow, and i don’t like to cause offence. i used about 30 chars. the fact you wrote a blog about it suggests you care about this a lot more than i do. but don’t berate me – or anyone else – for having manners simply because you lack basic social skills. if someone i’ve never chatted to unfollows, i don’t give a fig. but if twitter is a conversation in a pub, abruptly unfollowing someone you’ve recently been very friendly with is the equivalent of stalking off in the middle of a conversation.
It’s not about you, specifically. I get this from a lot of people, it’s happened a few times in the last few days.
You didn’t reply to my last message, you haven’t spoken to me in quite a few days. Like I was at pains to point out, it’s not a personal thing, i don’t dislike you. I just feel I’m talking at someone who doesn’t have an interest.
And how exactly would one unfollow someone un-abruptly? It’s a binary thing; you either follow or don’t.
Totally agree. I am going to retweet this.
Aw thanks Lucy
I agree with you – and I also have blocked people following me whose timelines look unappealing! (usually they are under 20 and talking utter drivel…).
I may feel differently if you unfollow me
or take up NLP…or both.
I’ve come to your blog late. As you have followed me I’ve read your blog. I don’t advertise my blog on Twitter now as it’s silly, personal and amateurish.
I have to admit I added you purely on your name. It made me smile. I’m probably every reason you’d unfollow somebody. However hoping you don’t but promise will take my unfollowing with quiet reflection.
You still didn’t sign that contract or answer the question about your Cliff Richard Tweet fully I feel. ne’er mind. Tweet on Macduff.
Jampot.
I did! I stamped my X on the bottom! As I said, I cannot read or write so that’s my mark. It’s a terrible shame but at mouse I don’t have dyslexia!
I was told to say othig further on Classic-era Cliff too!