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The Worst Doctor Who book ever written.
Sunday 29th November, 2009Posted by on
No, not Sanctuary by David McIntee. Not “Who Killed Kennedy”, though that comes close. Nor do I mean that one by Kate Orman set in Japan. Not even the Devil Goblins of Mars or the risible snoreathon Vampire Science. Worse even than the one where they have Dodo die of a sexually transmitted disease (yes, that actually was written and published). I’m talking about Lungbarrow. A book stuffed to the gills with the most appalling Fanwank that it leaves a nasty taste in the mouth while you’re reading it. This, however, is not a popular opinion.
I am, as usual, in a minority. People like the multiple K9s, Romana and Leela existing in the same period of time, despite their adventures being separated by more than a human lifespan. The Doctor as a Boy, bunking off school (where, incidentally, he is taught by an android in the shape of a giant moose), Looms (LOOMS! They rewrite Gallifreyans themselves as not born in a mammalian way! The arrogance of that!), witches on Gallifrey and a big RESET button at the end.
But every time I say what a bloody awful book it is (there’s one now on eBay.com selling for $83.99!!) people still insist on defending it. You can’t reason with some people. I fear I may have to re-read it to write a definitive blog on how utterly atrocious it is. Was it this book where the 7th Doctor assassinates the 6th? I can’t remember, but if I’m going to slag off this maddening unpleasance of a book I may have to soil my mind once more.
Oh, and Leela has a baby.