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Monthly Archives: September 2010
This is better said out loud than read, but as you haven’t taken me down the pub I have to resort to typing it.
A woman advertises for a handyman and interviews this guy.
“I need someone to do odd jobs. Just bits and pieces around the home” she tells him when he calls.
“That’s fine, but I can’t do anything which involves plumbing, it’s just not my forté” he says.
“That’s alright, I have plenty of other things to do. I need some shelves put up and-“
“Can I stop you there?” he interrupts. “I’m terrible at DIY, I make an awful mess and nothing’s ever level. Do you have any other things to do?”
“Ok, well I need some weeding done and then I need a rockery built and a vegetable patch dug for me…”
“I’m sorry, I can’t do things like that, I have a really bad back and things like that would put me in agony.”
She sighs. “Very well, I do need the loft cleared out. It’s full of dust and cobwebs”.
“Ah no, I couldn’t go up in a loft, I have a fear of heights. Once up I wouldn’t be able to climb back down the ladder, far too scary. Not to mention spiders, I have severe arachnophobia”
“I’m not being rude, but why on earth have you applied for this job? You can’t do anything! What’s so handy about you?”
“Well I only live around the corner.”