Raging Against the World

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My favourite joke

This is better said out loud than read, but as you haven’t taken me down the pub I have to resort to typing it.

A woman advertises for a handyman and interviews this guy.

“I need someone to do odd jobs.  Just bits and pieces around the home” she tells him when he calls.

“That’s fine, but I can’t do anything which involves plumbing, it’s just not my forté” he says.

“That’s alright, I have plenty of other things to do.  I need some shelves put up and-“

“Can I stop you there?” he interrupts.  “I’m terrible at DIY, I make an awful mess and nothing’s ever level.  Do you have any other things to do?”

“Ok, well I need  some weeding done and then I need a rockery built and a vegetable patch dug for me…”

“I’m sorry, I can’t do things like that, I have a really bad back and things like that would put me in agony.”

She sighs.  “Very well, I do need the loft cleared out.  It’s full of dust and cobwebs”.

“Ah no, I couldn’t go up in a loft, I have a fear of heights.  Once up I wouldn’t be able to climb back down the ladder, far too scary.  Not to mention spiders, I have severe arachnophobia”

“I’m not being rude, but why on earth have you applied for this job?  You can’t do anything!  What’s so handy about you?”

“Well I only live around the corner.”

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