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Category Archives: Doctor Who

The Wedding Episode

 

So as an alternative to the Royal Wedding, here’s a list of weddings you can enjoy without being appalled by the Media people.

A simple rule, it has to be a TV wedding and not based on a literary adaption. We can’t have Harold Steptoe marrying Caroline Seymour because that happened in a movie. We can’t have Pride and Prejudice because it’s not a TV show, per se. Also, it must be a Wedding Episode. There does not have to be a successful marriage, people can be jilted, there can be a distraction which brings the proceedings to a halt. It can’t be a 30second scene, it must be a proper Wedding Episode. From the outset the episode must be about the Wedding!

Lister marrying the Gelf doesn’t count as the “wedding” lasts all of about 30 seconds and the rest of the episode isn’t about the wedding. There was Sheridan and Delenn in Babylon 5 but it wasn’t a proper wedding episode so I’m not counting it.

So here’s what I came up with:

Rodney and Cassandra (Only Fools and Horses)

Corporal Jones and Mrs Fox (Dad’s Army)

Sarah Jane Smith and erm… Nigel Havers (The Sarah Jane Adventures)

Gwen and Rhys (Torchwood)

Blackadder and Bob/Kate (Blackadder II)

Chance in a Million. Simon Callow & Brenda Blethyn – hurrah!

And other twitterers leapt in to help me out. Thank you, everyone!

@gingirl81           Ross and Emily (I’m guessing Friends. I didn’t watch the show!)

@Feliopolis          Friends has three wedding episodes. If you count the pilot with Rachel jilting Barry

                            and the one where she’s a bridesmaid to Jennifer Grey there are two more.

@danosirra          Kylie/Jason (Neighbours)

 @tmdwp             Donna’s two weddings in [Doctor] Who. (The Runaway Bride and The End of Time)

            Ed Straker’s wedding (and subsequent divorce) in UFO.

            After engagements involving many characters throughout Jeeves and Wooster, Spode

            and Madeline marry in the final episode.

            Oh, and surely someone’s said Father’s Day. Two weddings in that one. (Doctor Who)

 @Sue_Stokes     Robin and Marion (x2) in robin of sherwood?

(This is semi-correct. Marion did marry Robin(1) Michael Praed, but Marion went to an abbey as a nun when she believed Robin(2) had died. No wedding.)

@bluemoonjules         Vince and Penny (Just Good Friends) In Paris.

                    Miss Ellie and Clayton Farlow (Dallas)

@M_robertson_UK      Did you say Miss Jones and Rupert Rigsby? (Rising Damp) They are getting married but

                                      something happens and it all goes wrong.

 @spiffykates               House got married to an illegal immigrant on a recent episode

                     Pam and Jim on the American version of the office

@malmo58          Theresa and Eddie, ‘Playing The Field’ series 1 episode 6.

                     Blackadder series 1 episode 4 – Blackadder is due to marry Miriam Margolyes and ends

                     up getting hitched to a wee lassie

                     Had the two Vicar of Dibley ones yet?

                     Does kids’ TV count? There’s a wedding episode of Worzel Gummidge.

(oh yes! It counts! Who giveth away this Aunt Sally?)

            Had Denise Royle yet? (I’m guessing: The Royle Family? Not a show I watched)

            2 wedding episodes in Gavin & Stacey.

Some ideas sparked debate! I suggested the wedding of Daphne and Donny in Frasier.

@gingirl81          noooooooooo Daphne and Niles. I love Niles. they got married twice coz of her mother!

                           Total Frasier geek here!

 @katobell           Daphne and Niles! She didn’t marry Donnie!

(which is true, but there was a wedding! Robbie Coltrane was there!)

Did Arkwright and Nurse Gladys Emmanuel (Open All Hours) ever get married?

@neversarah        excellent question; I don’t think so. What on EARTH made you think of that?

                            Scott & Charlene… Didn’t Reggie Perrin get married, even though it would’ve

                            been bigamy?

@bluemoonjules   Reggie Perrin ended up marrying Mrs Perrin but in disguise

@malmo58            Open All Hours ‘Shedding at the Wedding’

@abby_queenofall    Nellie Olsen and Percival on Little House on the Prairie?

@bluemoonjules       Of Course Laura and Almanzo

                               Did Wolfie Smith ever do the decent thing?

  then there are all the literary ones – Pride and Prejudice, Jane Eyre…..etc etc

                (oh no! We can’t count those!)

  well then that discounts Little House on the prairie

            (Technically, haha. See I would include LHOP because it was more of a tv show than an adaption.)

@malmo58          No, Wolfie never got married 😦

Some I was helped with!

Me:                Bobby Ewing and Cliff Barnes’s sister (whose name escapes me)

@Jo_simcock    Was it lucy?

@gingirl81       Pam. he also married that April chick with big hair. I loved Dallas.

@Jo_simcock    Ah you threw me-thought you meant bobby’s sister

Me:               What about the Likely Lads? Was there a wedding episode?

@malmo58    Yes, Bob and Thelma.

@m_robertson_UK    That’s a good question. I think not. I think it happens between TLL and WHttLL…..

@malmo58    No, it has a whole episode of WHttLL to itself, titled ‘End of an Era’

Me:              Long-running shows seem to be the key. What about Last of the Summer Wine?

@Malmo58    Yes, in a Xmas special ‘Uncle of the Bride’.

Me:              Didn’t Sam & Diane have a wedding? (Cheers)

@malmo58    Sam and Diane had an aborted wedding in Cheers. they started the ceremony, Sam pulled out.

So it would seem that most weddings happen in Comedy shows. Either that or Comedy shows are more memorable? I was expecting someone to mention a wedding in something like GBH or Edge of Darkness, but it seems Dramas are not remembered for their weddings.

Finally, some unanswered questions from me:

  • Did Lovejoy marry Charlotte the auctioneer?
  • i’m sure a few tv series had people being jilted…
  • Wait… didn’t Frasier and Lillith have a wedding episode in Cheers?

So if you don’t want to watch the Royal Wedding, why not dig out a DVD, VHS or any other version of one of these and settle down for a nice day of wine and confetti?

Soldiering On

So late last night as I was catching up with my timeline the horrible news came in.  Nicholas Courtney, our solid dependable right-hand man to many Doctor Whos has died.

The Brigadier in full dress uniform.

Like many of my generation Doctor Who was not a programme which came along and we decided to watch one day, it had always been there.  From before we were born and it would live long after we died.  The show was ingrained in us, it was immortal.  My earliest memories are of Jon Pertwee regenerating into Tom Baker.  Not my earliest memories of Doctor Who, but my earliest memories.  How on earth I was even aware of Doctor Who and what regeneration was (I knew) at only 3 years old I have no idea.

But Nicholas Courtney was there.   He was there at the pivotal moment in history as a Doctor became another Doctor.  Twice.  Not many can lay claim to that.  And he would continue to be there for years to come.  Disappearing in 1975 to reappear in 1983 it never felt like he was away.  The Brigadier, or as he’s become known over the years – The Brig – is a stalwart.  He is… he was the oldest friend of the Doctor.  Assistants and Companions come and go, travelling and leaving, travelling and leaving.  The Brig was always there.  Even when he wasn’t.  If the Brig wasn’t in a story, it’s because he was at UNIT HQ or Geneva, he was never “not there”, just away from his desk.

Of course as the years went on this very British institution of a tv show which had regularly pulled in extremely respectable ratings was sidelined and denigrated by the powers that be at the BBC.  They hated it and did what they could to cancel it.  The first time they tried it was “resting” rather like a certain ex-parrot.  Everyone could see through this and thanks to a mystifyingly orchestrated campaign by the tabloid newspapers the public outcry forced them to recommission the series and pretend nothing had happened.

So the BBC got smart, they scheduled it against the big hitter of ITV, Coronation Street.  It had no chance.  The show’s popularity dwindled and the once giant loved show turned into a bit of a joke.  I couldn’t even begin to count the times the big lie was repeated about “wobbly sets”.  There were never wobbly sets.  But the damage was done, the show spiralled down until the BBC could cancel it with no fuss.

And in those wilderness years Doctor Who fandom held out.  Like the Resistance we held our ground and did everything we could to keep the show alive.  Books, CDs, Magazines, action figures, even audio stories from Bill Baggs’s BBV and later, Big Finish.  Fandom had many conventions, primarily in the UK but a strong presence in the USA too.  The stars of the show were always busy, always sought out.

People like Nicholas Courtney were given their due.  We realised their worth and hopefully these actors recognised the ongoing happy feelings we radiated towards them.

But I never realised the sheer scale of this until today.  Twitter has been talking all day about Mr Courtney’s passing.  It has trended in the UK and Worldwide for pretty much the entire day, a feat only equalled by the likes of Justin Bi*ber and Lady Gaga.  Reading the comments from those involved with the show and those of us who merely watched it has been astonishing.  Nicholas Courtney was loved by so many people.  His quiet modesty and affable demeanour has resonated with a far larger audience than many of us who lived through the dark days of the 90s could ever have imagined.

When the show came back in 2005 there was a definable schism between Old Who and New Who.  At first the show made no links with its former entity, many spoke of it as a reboot rather than a continuation.  By the time David Tennant came on board in 2006 the production team had loosened the strictures and the return or Sarah Jane Smith (and K9) opened the floodgates.  Suddenly “Old Who” was rebranded “Classic” Who in a rather worrying reminder of New Coke and Classic Coke, but it stuck.  The new fans who are only used to the whizz bang and whoosh of zippy, shiny, expensively neatly costumed actors were keeping their distance from the Classic series.  In time the persistent protestations of long-term fans that there was a vast untapped back catalogue tempted the young people into the past.  Amazingly, they enjoyed it!  Resistance was diminished and now the audience for the old stuff has grown.

The popularity of the Tennant era has done many wonderful things but if nothing else it has brought love back to the show.  In a written entry on Tom Baker’s website he states

Of all the characters in Doctor Who there is no doubt that he was the most loved by the fans for his wonderful portrayal of the rather pompous Brigadier.  “Five rounds rapid” was the line we all loved.

He is absolutely correct.  Tom Baker is not a young man himself and when he goes we will grieve for him too, but not in the same way.  Nicholas Courtney was a flawed vulnerable man, as can be heard from his very frank (and inexplicably deleted) autobiography, A Soldier in Time.  He talks about his difficulties with women and marriage, his distant unloving mother and his nervous breakdown during the filming of Terror of the Autons.  The late Barry Letts also gently touches on this incident in his autobiography.  In the years that followed things got better for Nicholas Courtney and by the time he died he was happily married and very popular with an enormous amount of people keen to befriend him.

We mourn him more deeply than we have mourned anyone involved with Doctor Who since perhaps Patrick Troughton.  The Brigadier was the Doctor’s Rock.  Steadfast, dependable and utterly decent.

Nicholas Courtney was our Rock for exactly the same reasons.  With his death another era closes forever.  We have lost our father figure.

Thanks to @tvcream for perhaps the most poignant image in the last 24 hours: Nicholas Courtney lost in his thoughts on the W7 bus between Crouch End and Finsbury Park.

Now, let’s remember why we love(d) him

Colonel Lethbridge-Stewart in a Glengarry.

Why I don’t like Doctor Who anymore

OK, here’s the blog I told myself I wouldn’t write.

Being born in Britain in the 70s I have, of course, grown up with Doctor Who.  Admittedly I took a bit of a break in 1985 when the exciting US programmes enticed me away, programmes such as The A-Team, The Fall Guy, perhaps even home-grown tosh like Metal Mickey.

But when I got my own personal TV for my bedroom in 1987 one of the first shows I had the choice of watching was Doctor Who and I lapped it up.  Even though the 1987 series was a bit weak I still enjoyed Pex vs the Rezzies and aliens crash-landing a bus in a 50s Butlins.

And then one day in 1992 I walked into the Guildford branch of HMV and found some sci-fi TV VHSs.  Early Hartnells jostled next to Kirk-era Star Trek tapes.  I bought An Unearthly Child, both “The Daleks” tapes, both “Dalek Invasion” tapes and The Cage.  I went home, played and enjoyed the marvels of telly styles I’d never seen before.

I also discovered there was a magazine, Doctor Who Monthly, which had been coming out for years!  Nobody had ever told me!  I’d never seen or heard of it.  I started with issue 192 i think, and still have everyone since.  It’s only recently I’ve been thinking about cancelling it.

Because I don’t like Doctor Who anymore.  Or, more accurately, I don’t like any Doctor Who since David Tennant blubbed his final line “I don’t want to go!”.

When Russell T Davies, brought back Doctor Who bigger and bolder than it had ever been (even including the mighty years of Tom Baker) I was thrilled and relieved that they hadn’t ballsed it up.  The same reaction I had to Paul McGann’s 1996 effort, but let’s leave that discussion for another day.

And then… he announced that he was leaving.  And suddenly the Whovians went crazy, all pushing for Steven Moffat to take the job, purely because they liked his stories.  And that’s when I started to feel the collywobbles.  I liked a majority of Moffat’s stories, but I hated such drivel as The Girl in the Fireplace (or G’i’t’F’ace as cleverer wordsmiths than I came up with).  The Doctor falls in love with some blonde woman for no discernible reason, sidelining the other blonde tart he’d been disastrously sorta shacked up with for the season so far.  While she still had a boyfriend, I might add.  Who was with them.

I felt, rather like before the Gulf War, that I was the only one saying “whoa, let’s not get carried away”, but the resounding chorus even got as far as BBC Wales for soon RTD was also promoting Moffat as the man for the job.  Fandom went mad and started calling Moffat “The Grand Moff” and coming up with stupid anagrams “The Vast Toffee M.N.” (because they had two letters left over).  Fandom, as one, were behind him.  I was doubtful.  A great storywriter does not necessarily make a great showrunner.

Fast forward to January 2009 and a sudden shock announcement that David Tennant’s replacement was going to be announced.  Fandom had been hounding David with “when are you leaving?” questions almost immediately he became the Doctor and it never let up.  It drove me crazy, nothing would shut up these people so desperate to not savour the present.  I was somewhat amazed that David lasted as long as he did with this constant erosion.

Fandom again went C.R.A.Z.Y.  They were divided between hyping people like Paterson Joseph and Chiwi Et.. Chiti Ew… another guy with a name so unpronounceable that I can’t even google him.  Both Black guys.  I’m of course no racist, but this would be as ludicrous as the Doctor suddenly being a woman, or from Korea.  You couldn’t adequately explain it away, the Press would have laughed for months, some other countries would stop buying the series, it was just damn silly.  Also, the favourite, Paterson Joseph is not that great an actor, as anyone who’s watched him in many things will know.  He’s competent yes, but not great.  Not like Christopher Eccleston, nor David Tennant.  This of course didn’t stop Doctor Who fandom.  They were certain.  So certain, in fact, that one website even proclaimed he had been cast as the 11th Doctor.

No other names were brought to the fore, just those two.  Racking my brains as hard as I could I couldn’t think of anyone else either.  So I waited for the announcement.  And just before that moment came suddenly another name floated up out of nowhere.  Suddenly the betting shops were offering odds on him.  Strange.  So strange in fact that were I a betting man I’d have put a large amount of money on it.  I have a very suspicious mind.

Sure enough the next day the bombshell was dropped.  They showed footage of this new guy in a show called “Party Animals” and also in a thing with former blonde bimbo assistant, Billie Piper.  And he was terrible.  An awful mockney accent and no presence.  But he’d been cast by Moffat and pals. The only thing they’d talk about was how much they liked his hair.  They decided he was ‘the one’ and wouldn’t even consider anyone who auditioned after him.  My spidey senses tingled.  This seems a bit shallow, I thought.  They’ve pooh-poohed the stuntcasting of a Black actor for the stuntcasting of a 26year-old.  Say what you like, this was stuntcasting.  How do you get press after such a popular Doctor?  You do something completely unexpected and random.  And it worked.

Fandom went crazy, again.  Like they always do.   They declared him perfect and wonderful because of the way he waggled his fingers in the interview.  I’m not making this up.  I voiced some concerns about this shallowness on a website and was shouted down in a nasty series of vitriolic, personal attacks, designed to humiliate.  This received the tacit approval of what had previously been a friendly forum and I left, disgusted.

Doctor Who fandom can be an inclusive friendly place, until you stray from the party line.  There’s a strong “this story is great, this story is crap” which you’re not allowed to disagree with.  People shout loudly at the dogma of which is best without in some cases even to have seen them.  Anyway, fandom had decided that they would love the new doctor.  They projected their own desires on the upcoming season “i think it’s going to be much darker, and he’ll have an older companion to heighten that he’s an old man”.  They’d already decided his costume and where the season would go.  From a few grains of sand they had created a world.

Into this atmosphere, Steven Moffat could do no wrong.  They had decided to love everything and anyone who disagreed would not be received warmly.  The new Logo (a logo?) was revealed.  It was awful.  Fandom declared they loved it.  A new, terrible costume was revealed.  Fandom first went “yuk” then talked themselves into loving it. “It’s growing on me” is the oft-repeated mantra.  The new TARDIS.  Over-simplistic and plasticky fandom went “it’s growing on me”.  I’ve gone on record in a previous blog that I didn’t like it. 

And then finally the new series came.  Steven Moffat could have had Smith sitting in a corner for 60 minutes gurning and dribbling, fandom would have declared it to be Brilliant.  I hated it.  “Geronimo!” is the new Doctor’s catchphrase (you have to have a catchphrase now, for some unexplained reason) and fans love it.  The first episode was slow, slow, slow, very talky, cheap looking and nothing much happened.  There was some tedious drawn-out scene where the Doctor was fed a variety of foods, not liking any of them.  Fandom hooted with laughter.  Moffat had a girl companion in his own personal fetish gear for no good reason, fandom approved.  Oh look, she’s mentally ill, haha, how hilarious, three psychiatrists she’d been through, haha (it may not be three, I don’t care).  Because you see, mental problems are funny!  Like Edina’s comedy drunkeness in Absolutely Fabulous it doesn’t mean anything!  It’s just stuff to laugh at, oh my aching sides!  Let’s ignore reality, let’s just treat it like a sitcom. Smith, for his sins, was ok.  Not great, not terrible.  Not “the Doctor” either.

But no, this new season’s buzzword is “fairytale”.  Not for us the Bidmead RealScience.  RTD’s Magic>the laws of science has been trounced by the laws of fantasy.  Look, a spaceship with an eye.  So presumably this spaceship wasn’t built by spaceship builders eh?  Or maybe it was and they have Giant Eye parts in a warehouse.  Look, a sledgehammer subtle “crack” running through every episode.

What did fandom think?  Guess.  That’s right, as one, like an army of robots they declared it Brilliant.  Wafer-thin nonsensical plot with an “up yours Tennant” scene where Matt Smith walked through an image of the previous incarnations to proclaim “i am the Doctor” in the way a toddler tells his parents “No!” when told to clean up his mess.  Curiously the Doctor defeated the monsters the same way he’d done in an earlier Moffat-written episode.  Remember that.

Realising that they couldn’t be seen to love 100% of it, fandom collectively rounded on the theme tune.  All blame was shifted onto Murray Gold.  Nothing to do with Moffat was it?  Somehow the nasty Murray Gold had forced poor little Steven Moffat to have a dreadful theme tune.  Yup that’s how it works.  In time you’ll hear “it’s growing on me”.

Episode 2 came.  Moffat tried his usual schtick of being frightening.  Or rather, faux frightening.  We’re all scared of wooden heads aren’t we?  No?  Oh well, let’s bung on some scary music from Murray, that’ll fix it.  You’re scared now aren’t ya?  Yeah, thought so.  The episode itself had more than a passing nod to V for Vendetta.  In fact so much did it resemble V-for that had it not been based on the 80s-rejected story of a Space Whale (more fantasy) it would have been a direct rip-off. In one scene the Queen (look, she’s black!  Aha!  Aren’t we clever?!”) is seen in a big flowing cape all neatly laid out (even with an object on top of the fabric) that she couldn’t be more posed and set-up than if Annie Leibovitz had been standing off-camera.

Episode Three followed this lumbering and inadequate episode.  This was the one fans had been waiting for.  This was the final straw for me.  Churchill summons the Doctor to London.  Why?  Erm, well ok, that’s a big plot-hole, there was no reason.  There are Daleks fighting for England.  The Doctor (for that’s what they call this lumpy-faced finger-waggler) goes mad and attacks it.  He then says “I am the Doctor!!!!  And you are The Daleks!!!!” for no good reason.  Possibly the clunkiest line ever in Doctor Who.  The Daleks beam up to their spaceship, the Doctor follows and their spaceship (clearly an empty warehouse) he describes as “pretty beaten up”.  No it isn’t!  There’s no signs of damage anywhere!  Clearly someone forgot to tell the set dressers.  The Doctor does DramaticPose#c perfectly positioned in the centre of the screen, no, left a bit Matt, that’s it lovey, ok, ACTION!  The Daleks for no good reason create uber-Daleks who promptly zap them (ooh, they didn’t see that coming???) and then bugger off.  Oh and there’s a Star Wars rip-off where some spitfires roar into space (ignore the logic, it’s fantasy) and zap away fruitlessly.  There’s a c-plot where someone’s husband is killed but it’s glossed over in a “why did we bother writing this bit?” kind of way.  Churchill (about twice his weight) whips the TARDIS key, Amy shouts “oi churchill!” (a nod to a transient advert), a living bomb is allowed to remain an active threat on Earth and… that’s it.  I could mention the HIDEOUS redesign of the Daleks (so very blatantly an idea to wring more money out of the gullible fans) but i’m sure you’ve already seen the hunch-backed Tefal wok design for yourself by now.  Fandom decided it wasn’t Moffat’s fault, nor the writer Mark Gatiss, it was the fault of a ‘shopping list’ of plot elements.  Some writers can do a shopping list, others can’t.  Mark Gatiss can’t.  But it’s ok, it’s clearly not Moffat’s fault is it?  Happily skirting over that as Showrunner, Moffat is responsible for ALL the major decisions.  The buck stops there, y’know?

And that’s when I decide, this ‘aint for me.  From reports I get back from people still watching, almost every episode is peppered with “ooh that’s a bit like a previous episode/a film” and ‘witty’ dialogue undermining it episode by episode.  Episode 1 features the stellar “who the man?” i remind you.  Ha-ha-hilarious, isn’t it?  no.

Some claimed from ten minutes into episode one that Smith “claimed the role” but I just didn’t get that.  They say “David Who?” about the most popular Doctor there’s ever been and slag off his acting style.

There’s a phrase “50 million Frenchmen can’t be wrong!” in an old song, which I disagree with.  Remember how many millions followed Hitler.  How many believe that no-one walked on the moon in 1969?  Weight of numbers does not prove anything to be right.  Fandom is still vociferously claiming that Smith is better.  I don’t see it.  Clearly it’s a problem with me.  Fandom can’t possibly be wrong can it?

Layers of Difficulty

So my DVD boxset of The Space Museum/The Chase turned up yesterday which meant I could delete the .mpg version of the VHS edition from my hard drive.  Going into the folder I found a copy of an old UK Gold trailer

As a little exercise of video editing I thought I’d update the trail to the DVD-quality visuals and that it would be very simple indeed.  And then I became aware of the limitations of Pinnacle Studio.  I’ve known for a long time that I need something a bit more professional and this has really put the tin lid on that.  The trailer, though simple, has one slight drawback.  The UK Gold logo overhangs the edge of the clip.

The logical thing to do is to Chromakey in the footage of the new sequence into the red windowed area, but then we have a problem with the green area, which has a moving clock.  Pinnacle Studio can deal well with Chromakey, but it wouldn’t overlay the new video into the red area without obliterating the edge of the UK Gold logo or vice versa.  It allows for transparency but this just means you’d have a section of the logo which was slightly odd-looking, a different colour.

I tried creating my own mattes:

 

but this just left me with a non-moving clock.  I tried the same in reverse with the clock

 

but again, the same problem with the video box.  In the end I managed to make them separately and overlay a corner of the screen (the clock + corner of the background) onto a video of the Red Box area + background and this proved seamless, but frustratingly difficult to do with the awkward interface of Pinnacle. 

So now I need to find a piece of software which can overlay multiple layers, eg:

+

Funny how something which seemed so simple can prove not to be.

You can view the finished version here:

The End of Time, pt 2 – Phototweetblog

Oops, cataloguing DVDs I’ve recorded and this disc is playing End of Time pt. 2 – must. stop. watching. arrrgh… i cannae stop Cap’n…

Wilf’s doing the “take the gun, I don’t want you to die” bit and ohhhh it’s so moving…

Loster 21: Stop, even reading your tweets is making me sad!

A White Point Star! The Time Lords are returning! Argh, I can’t stop watching #doctorwho

UppityWomyn: lol. Enjoy.

I can’t help it, The Cribbins got me and sucked me in.

Woo… The Master is welcoming the return of Timothy Dalton… ohhhhhh god, it’s shit but fun 😀

“Shitbutfun” is how I categorise the RTD era.

UppityWomyn: soo pissed, they killed the timelords again.

and a fall from higher than a radio telescope is just fine.

UppityWomyn: lol.

and Timmeh Dalton has de-Mastered the world with his science-rejecting magic glove.

UppityWomyn: wasn’t that the same kinda glove they used on torchwood?

@UppityWomyn I think they were just too cheap to get props to build a different glove. I’m sure it’s not meant to be “The Risen Mitten”.

UppityWomyn: ok, thought it was a callback in the making.

couldn’t they just tow Gallifrey back like they did with the Earth in Journey’s End?

ah thank god, Wilf’s saved the technician in the booth. Everything’s going to be all right then.

Woo, The Doctor’s pulled a gun on the Time Lord President (whoever he is, probably not Borusa again).

I like The Master sane. Couldn’t stand the bonkers guy. He’s clearly back to normal now.

Wooo… the woman behind the President, she’s cryin’ awww… I wonder who she is? Probably Thalia regenerated, I reckon.

Autotechgirl: There are many debates as to who that woman is. Personally I think it’s more fun not really knowing, I like speculating.

ooh lightning blasts from the master into time lord guy… zap.. pe’owwwwww whooosh… there they go!

Yay! The Doctor’s still alive. Everything is going to be… oh no… Wilf’s knocked four times… bummer.

Loster 21: You are just so mean. 😉

UppityWomyn: love it. Bummer.

He could do so much more! SO MUCH MORE!!! sad music, wilf in the booth, the doctor all teary…

and wilf’s out, the doctor’s in. Radiation… argh, he’s down… he’ll either regenerate or just shake the radiation out of his foot.

oh. he’s ok again. Fantastic. Can’t wait to see David Tennant again next year. well, this year now.

oh. it’s started. he’ll probably regenerate now.

Ah no, he seems to be able to walk about and fly off in the tardis. Hmm… started eh?

and he’s in Chiswick, still not regenerating…

ooh Martha! Mickey! Being fired at by a Sontaran. So they say. Oh there he is. Hasn’t he got a small tongue? Ah he’s been probic vented.

UppityWomyn: I always thought he should go back & shag Rose. But RTD went another way. Ahhh well

Ah, there’s the Doctor. Still not regenerating. Well it’s started, must be any second. Ooh there’s Luke! Luke out for that car! Ahahahaa

It’s ok, The Doctor’s there. He’s just about to regenerate. Ah no. He’s still got time to wave at Sarah-Jane.

Hath! Graske! Slitheen! those little balls of fat, the rhino guys, Captain Jack! Oh look, the Doctor’s given him an ‘In’ to Alonso. Sweet

UppityWomyn: one of the best scenes.

Oh look it’s Jessica Stevenson, she’s got make-up and her hair done. She actually looks attractive this time. Some creep in the book queue.

He’ll probably regenerate now.

Ah no, he’s got time to head to Donna’s wedding. Hooray! June Bloody Whitfield. She’ll probably goose Cribbins. Still not regenerating.

A Lottery Ticket! Isn’t that changing the timeline? Ah well, who cares eh RTD? The Doctor will probably regenerate now.

Oh look it’s Rose and Jackie. Ah this must be Pre-Eccles. Jackie’s gone orange. Oh look, a creepy guy watching a girl. It’s the Doctor!

He’s regenerating! At last! No, Russell, I’m only kidding, I love these scenes. Ooh it looks painful.

Oh look, an Ood. ood have thought it?

UppityWomyn: groan, baaad.

no explanation for the Ood two-brain leader guy.

“But the story never ends.” Reminds me of Sylv’s line in Dimensions in Time

Yay DT threw his coat over the arch like old times… here it comes…

Murray Gold climaxes

UppityWomyn: they can show that on screen? ;p

Ah those MUST be the final words… byebye DT… *sniff*

the tardis explodes

…for dramatic reasons.

DEAR GOD what the flip is that thing?

Bronska01: What??? What is it?!!

someone’s put an unfinished clone in his place. His features aren’t quite done. it looks like an Odo mask.

Well.. that was fun. Up to a point.

Bromley001: The last 15mins worth of Tweets of yours have been great!

Loster 21: Actually, it was, and I thank you ;D

Ah, DWC for EoT2 – not sure it’s on the DVD. Tried the Next Doctor disc – no commentary!!! wtf????

For fun I like to make a foghorn sound whenever Julie Gardner talks, to drown her out. Try it, it’s hilarious.

I think it’s telling that in the DWC for EoT2 DT doesn’t mention MaSM by name. I think he says “another guy” or something. Interesting.

I wonder who has the David Tennant dummy. Will it rot away in someone’s attic or has Julie got it in her bedroom?

I love that DT felt a bit of a thrill in noting the final time he used the sonic screwdriver. He’s still a fanboy 🙂

ah, DT says “Some other bloke walks in wearing your suit” – there we go, “some other bloke”. That’s what I shall call him. S.O.B.

And David Tennant’s “Golden Wrap” – again, it sounds like a sexual term. I bet it’s filthy.

The Worst Doctor Who book ever written.

No, not Sanctuary by David McIntee. Not “Who Killed Kennedy”, though that comes close.  Nor do I mean that one by Kate Orman set in Japan. Not even the Devil Goblins of Mars or the risible snoreathon Vampire Science. Worse even than the one where they have Dodo die of a sexually transmitted disease (yes, that actually was written and published). I’m talking about Lungbarrow. A book stuffed to the gills with the most appalling Fanwank that it leaves a nasty taste in the mouth while you’re reading it. This, however, is not a popular opinion.

I am, as usual, in a minority. People like the multiple K9s, Romana and Leela existing in the same period of time, despite their adventures being separated by more than a human lifespan. The Doctor as a Boy, bunking off school (where, incidentally, he is taught by an android in the shape of a giant moose), Looms (LOOMS! They rewrite Gallifreyans themselves as not born in a mammalian way! The arrogance of that!), witches on Gallifrey and a big RESET button at the end.

But every time I say what a bloody awful book it is (there’s one now on eBay.com selling for $83.99!!) people still insist on defending it. You can’t reason with some people. I fear I may have to re-read it to write a definitive blog on how utterly atrocious it is. Was it this book where the 7th Doctor assassinates the 6th? I can’t remember, but if I’m going to slag off this maddening unpleasance of a book I may have to soil my mind once more.

Oh, and Leela has a baby.

For the first time since 1964…

I had a flash of inspiration and have ascertained exactly where the Doctor Who 8mm clip comes from!

My god that took a lot of figuring out and it’s nice to have it sorted on Doctor Who day.  Happy 46th everyone!

Another twit

Well I finally gave in and joined Twitter.  In less than a day I have 7 followers, woo!  I’ve noticed that even d-list celebs don’t reply – boooo, sucks to you.  But follow me and I will follow you, that’s a promise.

I’ve even had my first spat with GuyKawasaki because he has a silly profile.  “Then don’t read my tweets”, quoth Mr K.  Don’t worry, I won’t!

twitter.com/Rumpio

Oh and all of you excited Doctor Who fans, come join the party at #doctorwho and #watersofmars.  Tweetdeck is grand, innit?

More discoveries!

The large-but-yummy actress Julie T Wallace

May29_37

Julie T Wallace in a Bond film

(probably best known for The Life and Loves of a She-Devil) is the daughter of British film star Andrew Keir

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Andrew Keir in Dalek movie

Though sadly, according to this entry she’s not getting much work due to her build (she’s 6ft2) and only weird men tend to go for her.  Julie, I’d be interested!  I’m 6ft3 myself and I’ve always wanted a tall girlfriend 🙂

In other news:  Les Dennis’s real surname is Heseltine.  Yikes.

When The Sweeney started John Thaw was only 32 and Dennis Waterman was only 26.  Christ I feel old.

The Tyrant’s 8mm

I’ve been working on my reconstruction of the two missing episodes of The Reign of Terror.

My version uses a mixture of stills and video footage from the surviving episodes. It also includes the 8mm footage of an Australian fan who pointed their cine camera at their tv screen back whenever Australian tv showed it in the 60s.

And in dropping in a piece of this footage I noticed that the Lost in Time DVD (from where the clip is sourced) had it slightly wrong. Ian Chesterton wasn’t saying something about Jules Renan at all. My limited lipreading skills combined with the quality of the cinefilm told me the only discernible word was ‘cheese’.

Now, in this French tale it is possible that Ian was getting a bit fromage fixated, but unlikely.

So I played through the dialogue until I heard him say something about “Le Chien Gris” which sounds to me a lot like cheese.

Grabbed Frame 57

"...except that, as I found Le Chien Gris, you found me."

It comes about 15m into episode four of The Reign of Terror.  I tried it, it fits perfectly with the soundtrack. Huzzah! One piece of silent film correctly positioned. Small victories.

My schoolboy french tells me that Chien is Dog, but I’m still no wiser on what Gris means.  Ah well.